Best I Ever Had
by demilylove
Summary: OneShot, Kate's POV. Takes place right after 2x21. Pure Jate.


"Shh… it's ok, it's alright." Sawyer says soothing my hair.

"Thanks." I sit up, sniffing, "um… thanks for that."

"Where you going?" he asks surprised.

"I'm, uh… I'm gonna go see how's Jack." I reply biting my lip.

"Huh. It always comes back to that." He nods with acceptation.

"Please Sawyer," I look at him annoyed, "this is actually not about you."

I walk into the bathroom, to find him here leaning against the sink. His eyes closed, his fists clenched and his head bowed.

_Nothing's quite the same now_

_I just say your name now _

_But it's not so bad_

_You're only the best I ever had_

_You don't want me back_

_You're just the best I ever_ _had_

"Jack…?" I whisper drawing closer to him.

He looks up and faces me. Yup. He was crying.

"You've been crying?" he asks drawing closer to me.

"So have you." I answer.

"Yeah, well… you know me. Can't accept failure." He throws his hands to the side and looks away.

I can't believe he's actually thinking _he_ failed. _He _didn't save them. He's always so goddamn hard on himself.

I wrap my arms around him tightly, and stand on my tiptoes to lay my head on his shoulder. For a second, he's taken back and his body stiffens. But then he relaxes into the hug and holds me close to him. I can hear him sniffing slightly and I continue to hold him until I'm sure he's stopped crying. I plant a soft kiss on his neck and leave my mouth there as I talk to him.

"_You_ did not fail. They were both shot so close to the heart, that in an actual supplied hospital they wouldn't have made it. _You_ have got to stop being so hard on yourself." I whisper to his neck.

I pull away and he looks at me straight in the eye, tears filling his eyes.

"Thank you." He whispers softly.

"You're welcome." I smile weakly, "now listen to me. Don't put your own life in danger now. I know how rash you can get when you lose someone, but please…"

"I'm going, Kate." He shakes his head cutting me off, "we need to strike the iron while it's hot."

"What.. what iron? What the hell is going on, Jack?" I ask confused.

"We're going. Me, Michael, Sawyer, Locke and Eko. We're going." He states.

"Don't do this Jack…" I shake my head as he passes me by.

"Why not, Kate? Do you really want to let them…"

"Because I can't lose you, Jack!" I stop him, grabbing his arm, "of all people, not you."

"You're not gonna lose me, Kate." He says determined.

"I don't even wanna risk it." I whisper, "I don't want to wait and see what will happen if…"

"I don't want you coming." He shakes his head.

"Too dangerous?" I ask victoriously.

"No." He replies, "but I know that if you'll join me, I won't bother worrying about anyone else but you. And _that's _dangerous."

"Please, Jack." I plead grabbing his hand again, "I've got a really bad feeling about this."

"Kate…" he starts helplessly.

"I don't want to miss you even more than I miss you now." I say quietly.

He looks floored for a few seconds. He's probably just shocked that I'm finally the one who's expressed actual feelings for him. Who didn't run away from herself.

_And it may take some time to_

_Patch me up inside_

_But I can't take it so I_

_Run away and hide_

_And I may find in time that_

_You were always right_

_You're always right _

"M-miss me..? I'm right here, Kate." He says softly.

"I know." I say getting chocked up, "that's what makes it so much worse."

"Kate, I…" he sighs, "how can I make this better?"

"Stay." I whisper tearfully.

He tilts his head and looks at me for a few seconds, contemplating it. He then looks away and shakes his head slightly. I wipe a tear and nod understandingly. I know him. He won't stay.

"OK." He whispers finally.

"OK?" I ask surprised.

"OK. I'll stay." He nods.

I sigh with relief and throw my arms around him, hugging him close to me again. I pull away slightly, moving my hands to his cheeks and leaning in to kiss him. I cover his lips with mine, releasing all the passion and need I have for him. I pull back just for a bit, to check his reaction before leaning in again. When I notice he's not objecting I allow myself to deepen the kiss, and caress his tongue with my own. His hands slowly knead my waist and it's no doubt the best feeling ever. When I finally pull away our faces remain close, our foreheads touching. I lower my hands to his chest – almost like a replica of our last kiss. With just one _tiny_ adjustment.

"Thank you for staying." I whisper breathlessly.

"Ah, how the tables have turned." He chuckles in respond, stroking my cheek.

_But it's not so bad_

_You're only the best I ever had_

**_Best I Ever Had / Vertical Horizon_**


End file.
